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Planning for Aging: Advanced Tips for Elderly Loved Ones and Their Care Teams

JFCS How to talk to our Seniors

Having open and honest conversations with your aging loved ones about their future needs and preferences can be challenging but is crucial for their well-being and your peace of mind. Here are some tips and resources to help you navigate this important conversation and create a care plan for elderly loved ones:

Choose the Right Setting and Time for Elder Care Planning

Find a quiet and comfortable place where you can have an uninterrupted conversation. Choose a time when everyone is relaxed and not rushed. If appropriate, involve other family members in the conversation. This can provide different perspectives and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Remember, these conversations might take time. It’s okay if you need to have multiple discussions to cover everything.

Approach Elder Care Planning with Sensitivity and Respect

Initiate the conversation with empathy and respect. Acknowledge that the topic might be difficult to discuss but that you’re there to support them. Give your parents the space to express their thoughts and feelings. Show that you’re genuinely interested in their perspective and that their preferences matter. Ask open-ended questions about their goals, hopes, and concerns. Encourage them to share what they envision for their future.

Above all, respect autonomy. While you may have concerns, remember that your parents have the right to make decisions about their own lives. Respect their autonomy even if you disagree with their choices.

Explore Different Scenarios

Discuss various scenarios and options, such as staying at home with support, moving to an assisted living facility, or living with family. Explore the pros and cons of each option. Provide resources, brochures, or websites that offer information about different care options, legal documents, and financial planning for seniors. If the conversation becomes complex or contentious, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a counselor, attorney, geriatric care manager, or social worker.

Address Financial Concerns

Talk about financial aspects, such as long-term care costs and estate planning. This might include discussing wills, powers of attorney, and advanced healthcare directives.

Address Legal Concerns

It’s important to consult with an attorney who specializes in elder law or estate planning to ensure that your parent’s legal documents are properly drafted and customized to their specific situation. Laws and requirements can vary by jurisdiction, so it’s advisable to seek professional guidance to make sure everything is in order.

If your loved one becomes incapacitated and doesn’t have the necessary legal documents in place, you might need to go through a legal process to establish guardianship (for personal care decisions) or conservatorship (for financial decisions).

Documents to ensure their wishes are respected and their affairs are in order might include:

  • A Power of Attorney (POA) allows your aging loved one to appoint to make financial and legal decisions on their behalf if they become incapacitated.
  • A Living Will (Advance Healthcare Directive) outlines preferences regarding medical treatments and interventions.
  • A Will outlines assets, properties, and possessions and how they should be distributed upon death. A will can also name an executor who will manage the distribution process.
  • A Revocable Living Trust transfers assets into a trust during one’s lifetime. They can act as the trustee while they are capable and appoint a successor trustee to manage the trust in case of incapacity or death. A living trust can help avoid probate and maintain privacy.
  • A Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) Authorization allows designated individuals to access your parent’s medical information, which can be crucial for making informed medical decisions.
  • A Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) or Do Not Intubate (DNI) Order outlines specific wishes about life-sustaining treatments.

Follow Through on a Care Plan for Elderly Loved Ones

Once you’ve discussed preferences and options, work together to create a plan that aligns with your parents’ wishes. This might include practical steps like updating legal documents and identifying potential caregivers.

Remember that these conversations require patience, empathy, and ongoing communication. It’s a journey that involves understanding and respect for your parents’ wishes while ensuring their well-being in the years to come.

 

About JFCS Pittsburgh Senior Services

Jewish Family and Community Services (JFCS) Pittsburgh offers a range of services and resources to help seniors maintain their independence while providing support to caregivers and loved ones. For more information, please call JFCS Senior Services at (412) 422-7200 or visit www.jfcspgh.org/senior-services.